Happened to me once. True Story.

The Superbowl advertising is almost as famous as the sporting spectacle - though outside of the US it's the ads hands-down. Every year big brands line up to spend millions of dollars out-doing other brands with lavish, spectacular and sometimes downright spectacularly stupid commercials. But, hey - it's a party, let's not get too serious - it's only advertising.

This commercial is a slot stopper - take the whole break with an epic concept: Pretty girl (and a large production crew) abducts a guy from a bar with the promise of beer…a surefire winner. Doesn't every guy in the demographic fantasise that this would happen to them? Beer, promise of sex, fame, beer, pocket squares…


Let's take a closer look at that. 

The talent in the ad seems like a nice enough guy. A kind of happy, friendly, slightly overweight fellow - he'll never be confused with the Old Spice guy ('the man your man could smell like…'). He has been plucked straight from the target audience. His adventure is probably a projection of the focus-group research transcripts - 'so, what would be your fantasy night out?"
"Anything can happen?"
"Anything at all - the city is yours to have at as you will…"
"Ok…cool. Anything…"
"Anything…"
"Well I meet a girl in a bar…she's got a short little sparkly dress - and it's blue. Blue like, I know, like a Bud Light bottle. Can I say that? Bud Light?"
"You can say anything you want, this is your fantasy."
"Ok, so, this girl, she's kind of cute, homecoming queen cute and she asks me if I'm 'up for it'?. Well, hell yeya I'm up for it. So we get into this stretch limo…gotta be a Hummer…nothing fancy like a Lincoln Towncar…it's a party limo - in back there's a DJ and it's filled with girls, every one of them as pretty as the girl in the bar. And the Bud Light is flowing…Man, just when I think it doesn't get better than this - they take me to a department store and buy me a jacket. A jacket with a pocket square.  Not just any pocket square…A blue pocket square…You can tell I'm getting the five star treatment - the store assistant is Minka Kelly, you know THE Minka Kelly - played Jackie O in The Butler…Jackie O knows style my man…"
"Blue…"
"Yeah man, blue, Bud Light Blue…back into the limo…looking good with ma lay-dayz…we arrive at a club, not just any club. In the elevator there are these beautiful twins - the whole place is packed with twins. Don Cheadle gets in the elevator with his llama - I'm not talking Tibetan monks here - I'm talkin' llama - as in the dude is packin' pachyderm. I'm in a lift with Don Cheadle, his llama, twins in lamé and the doors open. You won't believe what happens next…"
"I am suspending disbelief, this is your fantasy…"
I look up and there is Arnold Schwarzenegger  - when he said 'I'll be baaack' he meant it - but he's wearing a long blonde wig and tennis shorts and he wants to play table tennis. I'm a little bit afraid. But at least he's not wearing a blue sparkly cocktail dress to go with the wig - 'cause that would be strange. We play, I win…the walls fall away and I'm in an arena with a stage and lights and OMG - I can't believe it - one minute I'm playing ping pong with THE sickest Republican and the next I'm up there on stage with New Republic…"
"How do you spell that?…"
"No one is going to believe this I think to myself, so I get my iPhone out and make a selfie with the band…"
"Oh, they're a band. ¬Actually, come to think of it wasn't Arnold in a movie called Twins?" I see what you did there

You can see why the guy is in a bar by himself to begin with - having a quiet with the 'the perfect beer for whatever happens'. Hardly plausible. I mean…Don Cheadle…really?